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Méls à Yuri

You know I'm quite tired of those boy bands, could you mind control them to play better music? A mind is a terrible thing to waste and music is too!! If you want to take over the world, please at least do something about those boy bands while you're at it!

My Dear Redfann,
If your biggest concern is the plight of your beloved "boy bands," I fear that a mind is indeed a terrible thing to waste. When I unleash my Psychic Dominator in the backstreets of the world, there will be no need for boy bands, bad music or free will. Simply surrender to me so we will be in sync and can turn feeble boys into men. Kind Regards,

Frankly Yuri, that symbol on your head looks disturbing. Did you put it on with a marker, or is it a tattoo? Do little kids laugh at you?

Dear Matt,
Any discomfort my "symbol" causes you will soon pass when you surrender your will to me. And rest assured, you will submit... And yes, little kids used to laugh at me, until I fed them into my Grinder... Sincerely

Dear Yuri,
As an older brother, I've been wondering if, when you were a child, you would mind control your parents and siblings to do chores for you or buy you things you normally wouldn't have been allowed to own? If so, will you teach me how to mind control mine?

My powers cannot be taught to one such as you. My abilities are a gift and part of my prophecy to rule. Since my parents and siblings were easy to manipulate and control, ruling a world is a mere eventuality. As I've told your President Dugan, why should I settle for controlling the minds of a mere few when I can dominate the minds of an entire world? I encourage you to set your a goals a bit higher, too.
Be Good!

Hi Yuri.
How come your so evil? Don't take it the wrong way, but there are supervillans out there who are also fun-loving nice guys. Why not try to change your scary persona a bit? I think all you need is a tan, a sport coat and jeans, and possibly a full frontal lobotomy (to dispose of all that freaky mind-control whatnot). Try to loosen up a bit. Just because you're a homicidal maniac doesn't mean you can't have some fun!
Post Office

How rude! Someone with the name "Post Office" has the nerve to refer to me as "scary" and a "homicidal maniac." You would make a great Brute. Meet me at my Genetic Mutator next Thursday.

Hi Yuri,
In your spare time, if you have any in between battles and planning, do you have any hobbies to keep you busy? Model planes? Painting? Sports? Terrorizing civilians? Blowing stuff up? Playing RA2? Einsteinb

Ah, Einsteinb, it pains me that you do not possess the intelligence of your namesake... My "hobby," as you quaintly put it, is feeding the weak-willed into my Grinder, converting their bodies into cash with which to fund my efforts to control the minds of an entire world.
Be Good!

Dear Yuri,
I was wondering what would happen if you were to fill your mouth with skittles and somersault 50 times. After that you would do a dead knot with those thingies dangling from your head. Would you feel uncomfortable? Oh yeah! When you 'take over the world,' what will be the nationality of the people? Yurians? Your great uncle Yucki Poo.

To presume that you and I are related, my dear "uncle," is the greatest of insults! My creation, the Virus, will meet you soon, and she has a special gift for you. By the way, how do YOU look exploding in a cloud of green toxic gas? Sincerely

Dear Yuri,
Ever since Westwood started promoting your expansion pack, you've been looking a little... stoned. Is this because you haven't been sleeping enough, due to your final preparations for world conquest? Or you haven't been drinking your daily requirement of Psychic Mountain Dew? Or is it because you've been experimenting with "psychic-mind-power-expanding" drugs? You know, it's never too late to stop. You have friends who are willing to help. GreenEclipse

Mr Eclipse,
I have no need for narcotics, sleep, nor carbonated beverages, my soon-to-be slave. They are the trappings of those not destined to rule. Your pathetic offers of aid are useless. Rather, allow Yuri to help you, by freeing you from all decisions and responsibilities....... Surrender your mind to me...... Your future ruler!

Yo! Psychic man, why do you talk in that funky raspy voice, "My command is your wish?" It probably hurts your vocal cords. Did you ever think about getting something for it? Darkman

No, my dear Darkman, but those are words you should become accustomed to hearing... Sincerely

What is it like to be permanently surrounded by inferior minds? Also, do you feel that your desire to conquer the world stems from the fact that you have never had a dog?
Maybe you should get a huskie.

I have had dogs that are more intelligent than the feeble minds you speak of. They have left me no choice but to take over the world, my friend. The feeble-minded of the world will soon realize that Yuri understands what's best for them, and that there is no need for this "free will." One blast from my Psychic Dominator is all it takes. Until Next Time!

Dear Yuri,
When you mind control, do you ever get a radio signal through that gear on your head? Does your mind-control device pick up FM radio by mistake instead of an innocent young GI's frequency waves of cerebellum tissue?

It has been known to happen during allergy season. But because of it, I can hardly wait to expose Howard Stern to my Genetic Mutator.