The Kirov


Designation: Heavy bomber
Manufacturer: Krasna Aerospace Centre
Country of origin: USSR
Serially manufactured at: Soviet Airfield

Key features:

• 800 kg BOR-57 “Grom” bomb load
• Fire-resistant, airtight hull
• Gastroburner chemical dispenser
• Luxurious lounge and kitchenette
• “Shark’s tooth” intimidation paint scheme



The unprecedented new Kirov Airship symbolises the sheer grandeur of the Soviet Army, its strength, its steadfastness and, some might say, its penchant for excess. Named during its maiden flight over the Kirov region, this airship is specifically built for war. A rigid, unbreakable structure and a durable envelope make this massive vessel virtually indestructible, whilst its oversized cargo holds thousands of armour-piercing bombs, whilst the engine’s power and vertical propellers somehow keep the airship aloft. Unlike other, more conventional Soviet forces, no expense was spared in the design or manufacture of these flying monsters. The Krasna Aerospace Centre introduced the Kirov into the Union’s arsenal just two years ago, and it has already revolutionised modern aerial combat, silencing the critics who once claimed that Krasna’s past success with its Twinblade combat helicopter was nothing more than a fluke.


The Kirov Airship is designed to fill the citizens of the Soviet Union with pride whilst instilling fear and dread in its enemies before pulverising them into a thousand pieces.

Given its role purely as a heavy bomber, the Kirov’s only real flaw is its undeniable lack of speed – a problem that is partly resolved by the Kirov’s opulent interior and spectacular panoramic view, which allows its prestigious pilots to blissfully pass the time gazing at the scenery, whilst their aircraft advance slowly but menacingly towards their hapless targets. Along the way, the Kirovs are capable of simply ignoring anti-aircraft fire, including attacks from enemy fighter aircraft. It is true, however, that the Kirovs have no means of retaliating against enemy aircraft, so the Union does tend to send fighter escorts to keep a watchful eye on each of these powerful airships, just in case. Furthermore, the Krasna Aerospace Centre has fitted this year’s Kirov models with special fuel injectors that give the Kirov Airship a significant burst of speed, although this is used sparingly for safety reasons.

Of course, the greatest security concern is the Kirov’s enemies. A single one of these gigantic ships has the capacity to reduce an entire military installation or an enemy armoured division to ashes. As if that were not enough, recent reports claim that the Soviet Union is now exploring new ways of mass-producing the Kirov in offshore factories, fitting them with even more powerful munitions. Such reports may well be false. For example, there is simply no physical way in which the Kirov could be built in a Soviet Weapons Factory, despite persistent speculation that one of these tank factories – so common on the Soviet front – has the capacity to launch the aircraft.


Senior Soviet officers fly on every Kirov, relishing world-class dining and accommodation as much as the almost unlimited supply of bombs.

Predictably, Kirov Airships are piloted only by the highest-ranking Soviet officers with years of political seniority, who appreciate the lavish accommodation and excellent dining within the Kirov’s 200-square-metre quarters. However, there are numerous tales of the cruelty of Kirov Airship pilots, who – if the psychological profile is to be believed – are so eager for combat that they feel detached and therefore tend to drop their bombs mercilessly.


Reconnaissance on the battlefield has at least revealed the following facts about the Kirovs:

• Luxury at a high price– Kirov Airships are new, in high demand and therefore scarce. As the number of Soviet Airfields increases, orders have been given to manufacture these airships locally. This process takes time and costs money.

-Unlimited bombs– Despite the Kirov’s enormous size, it carries only a small number of passengers on board. Whilst it could obviously carry hundreds of passengers, it instead carries thousands of bombs – more than enough for any single battle.

-Gastroburners- The Kirov Airship’s pilots have access to a special chemical compound which, when released into the engine, gives the powerful airship a higher top speed than usual. The downside is that the compound is toxic and slowly corrodes the Kirov from within.

-Explosive Potential - Whilst no Kirov has ever been shot down according to official reports, physicists theorise that the pure volatile chemical compound and the number of bombs contained within these vessels would likely explode catastrophically should it crash.