The Grinder


Designation: Advanced Anti-Ground Unit

Manufacturer: Konstruktsiya Korovova

Country of origin: USSR

In series production since: Soviet war factory

• Grinder roller coated with tungsten.
• Armoured canopy.
• Air-cooled engine block.
• Retractable water-sensitive pontoons.
• Cleaning compartment.



Not so long ago, it seemed that everyone – and not just the Soviets – believed that the Soviet Union’s Red Army was unstoppable. Countless battle tanks, overwhelming air power and legions of infantry made up the greatest military force and might ever assembled. This mighty army suffered terrible losses due to the surprise attack on the Empire of the Rising Sun. This blow was desolating; the Allied nations capitalised on it and ultimately achieved a decisive victory over their long-standing rival. Nevertheless, the Red Army survives, thanks to the leadership of certain commanders who survived and good old-fashioned Soviet pragmatism. The Union denies allegations that the Red Army is attempting to rearm, but emerging details of new combat-ready forces appear to contradict these claims. For example, the Soviet Union would have you believe that its recently unveiled vehicle, better known as the ‘Grinder’, is nothing more than an industrial road roller designed to smooth pavements and clear rubble in the dozens of ruined cities across the Union. If that were true, why would the ‘Grinder’ be fitted with armour typically found on military-grade vehicles and capable of decidedly dangerous top speeds? And why would manufacturers with direct links to the Red Army be responsible for producing the ‘Grinder’?


Nothing expresses the Red Army’s integrity, ingenuity and resolve quite as well as the Grinder.

These are troubling questions, but the brief history of the Grinder corroborates the Union’s claims regarding its harmless nature. By the time the Union’s leaders were brought to justice in Leningrad, the Union had more than enough scrap metal to meet its own needs, as the major cities lay strewn with vehicle wrecks and pockmarked by explosion craters. The process of literally clearing the streets was set to be long, difficult and expensive. A construction company based in Georgia sought to capitalise on this, arguing that the sooner the cities and streets of the Soviet Union could be cleared, the sooner the Soviet people could regain their pride and return to a normal way of life. The company’s solution was to refurbish fleets of road rollers, once used to lay tarmac – these magnificent machines, designed to clear the streets, bore a resemblance to the iconic Apocalypse Tank. They were fitted with sturdy, serrated rollers and upgraded with powerful engines capable of pushing through anything. The machines were also retrofitted with pontoons salvaged from destroyed Ore Trucks, enabling the vehicles to clear wreckage across the Union, even out of the water, in record time. The result was nicknamed ‘the Grinder’, and despite the supposedly beneficial nature of the project, initial attempts to use it had catastrophic consequences.


The Grinders compensate for their lack of conventional armaments with increased durability and speed.

Although the number of eyewitnesses varies, the end result is that the pilot of one of the ‘Grinder’ prototypes – unaccustomed to the vehicle’s modified engine – somehow caused eight deaths, 37 injured and damage amounting to several million roubles whilst attempting to clear several destroyed Hammer tanks from the city’s reservoir. This led to the closure of the Grinder’s manufacturer, although the Grinder itself was saved: the remaining Soviet military forces must have taken an interest in the destruction it caused in such a short space of time, as they requisitioned all the prototypes and soon began to assemble them... whilst denying any intention of using these vehicles in potential wartime scenarios.

In any case, the Grinder created hundreds of thousands of jobs in the Soviet economy and really did help to keep the streets clean. Skilled workers first take the salvageable parts from the destroyed vehicles to help build new grinders based on open specifications. Then, less skilled workers are selected to pilot the vehicles, which are quite simple to use (particularly compared to military vehicles, with their complex weapon systems). The grinders clear away the remaining wrecks, often in unused shallow waters within Soviet borders or along the coast. Even now, many Soviet cities, including Vladivostok and Kyiv, look almost as though their streets have never been marred by war. The Grinder is partly to thank for this, to be sure. However, the undeniably dangerous nature of this vehicle is a cause for concern to the Allied Military Council, and its use must be closely monitored.


BATTLEFIELD RECONNAISSANCE HAS REVEALED THE FOLLOWING FACTS ABOUT THE GRINDER:

• Chews everything up- Despite the lack of conventional weapons, the Grinder can tear apart any targets in its path in due course. Generally, the larger the target, the longer it takes the Grinder to chew it up and spit it out. The Grinder’s victims are helpless, trapped whilst the vehicle carries out its work.

-Turbocharged- Normally, the Grinder is not the fastest vehicle in the Red Army. To rectify this, an industrial turbocharger significantly increases top speeds. Note that the speed with the turbo cannot be sustained indefinitely due to the Grinder’s inability to dissipate all the heat efficiently.

-In warm waters– True to its ‘scrap-built’ nature, the Grinder incorporates spare parts from Soviet Ore Trucks, lending it amphibious capabilities despite its large size. This is perhaps the least accidental aspect of the Grinder’s design: the Soviets knew they needed a heavy, armoured combat vehicle that could breach contested waters and clear a path for their advancing forces.

-A turn for the worse - Although the Grinder is faster than a main battle tank, it cannot turn as easily due to its wheelbase. This means that smaller enemies can sometimes manoeuvre round it to avoid being shredded. The solution, as Soviet strategists have noted, is to attack with several Grinders driving side by side.