The Dolphin


Designation: Anti-ship Scout
Training Headquarters: Carmichael Aquatic Laboratories, Glasgow
Trained at: Allied Port
Motto: "Skree'ee--eee, eeek!" (lit. "Freedom at any cost!")

Equipment:

• WP100 sonic disruptor
• Portable surveillance device
• Microchip ensuring radar visibility
• Streamlined “uniform”
• Reinforced dorsal fin for increased speed



As the situation for the Allied Nations has become rather desperate in recent years, they have increasingly resorted to unconventional means of warfare. Such means involve Dolphin guerrilla-style training schools. The most prestigious of these schools, of course, is the Carmichael Aquatic Laboratory based in Scotland, which remains the world’s leading military training centre for aquatic mammals. Although the Allies were initially rather sceptical about using dolphins in open naval warfare against the Soviet Union, this plan is now regarded as one of the finest, if not the most sophisticated, of the last quarter of a century.


Pictured here is the Allies’ original test subject, Fins Flemming, in his sensory deprivation chamber wearing a colourless prototype of the WP100 sonic disruptor.

The decision is not without controversy, you know. To this day, Allied officials continue to staunchly defend their research and development into the training and militarisation of common dolphins, insisting that they have taught these creatures to defend themselves and protect their aquatic homes. Despite the ongoing moral debate, the Allied dolphins – equipped with sonic disruption technology – are undeniably effective. With the right training, these intelligent and obedient creatures can quickly and accurately relay the coordinates of foreign vessels, and when working in groups, they can truly engage the enemy with surprisingly effective results.

The dolphins’ sonic weapons act almost like a physical submarine jackhammer, pounding enemy targets until they are destroyed. The dolphins are able to ignore the weapon’s frequencies and still communicate effectively amongst themselves and with their Commanders, even in the midst of all-out war against their sworn enemies, the Russian Akula-class submarines. The Soviets have expressed their open frustration with the war against the Dolphins; however, they continue to experiment with new ways of combating these swift and courageous creatures. For example, it is known that their new Stingray attack vessel emits dangerous levels of electricity that spread through the water – yet, once again, the Allied dolphins are able to leap high and far out of the water to avoid being harmed.

A generation of sailors and veterans once claimed that dolphins have no place on the modern battlefield and that conventional warships are far superior in every respect. However, after a single, now-famous Dolphin sank a Soviet Battleship off the coast of Brighton Beach, only the most die-hard propagandists of the Soviet Union refused to believe it. (For his noble sacrifice, the Dolphin Puddles McIntyre was posthumously awarded the Allies’ most prestigious medal.)

It is believed that the Allied High Command is preparing to unveil a full military hierarchy exclusively for dolphins, in recognition of their increasingly valuable service.


Reconnaissance on the battlefield has at least revealed the following facts about the Dolphins:

• Sonic disruptor– Allied dolphins are expert combatants, trained and qualified to use the sonic disruptors mounted around their fins. These weapons fire rapidly and are effective against all types of vessels, without causing any adverse effects on the environment.

-Mega Jump– Dolphins are specially trained in jumping techniques. They can jump much higher and further than their wild brothers, which offers a variety of tactical advantages.

-Extended Radar Scan range- Although dolphins are formidable fighters, they are primarily used for reconnaissance. Thanks to their natural speed and top-quality surveillance equipment, they can locate hostile forces long before they themselves are detected – so they return to base swiftly to report back in the blink of a fin.

-Raised for Battle - Because Allied dolphins are born to serve the cause of freedom and because they receive no financial remuneration, the Allies are ultimately able to train these creatures for a relatively modest sum. The proceeds go to animal rights organisations and research into aquatic weaponry.