Emails to Tanya

Hi, I’m a big fan of your demolition work, and I was wondering if planting C4 is hard on the nails? Charles

Charles, I’ll tell you what, Charles, everything I do is hard on the nails, whether it’s planting C4 on a moving vehicle, sniping at Yuri’s genetic freaks, or swimming half a mile to blow up a Soviet Dreadnought. My nails are the least of my worries, though. I can’t be thinking about looking presentable when I’m worrying about taking out a fleet of Yuri’s Boomers. Regards,Tanya, don’t you ever want to take over the world? It would surely be a lot more fun than saving it. In fact, I’m getting into the business myself, and I’ll tell you, it’s a lot more fun being the bad guy than killing the bad guy. Trust me. John F. Kennedy

Johnny Boy! So you’re getting into the business, are you? I suppose that means we’ll meet again. Before you get any delusions of grandeur about taking over the world, you might want to think about what happened to Romanov. Don’t you know by now that I, and the rest of the Allies, won’t let that happen? Every few years, some bozo thinks he’s got the master plan to take over the planet, whether it’s through those aluminium-foil Tesla contraptions the Soviets had, or the ‘psychic’ gadget Yuri uses. Puh-leeze. We make mincemeat of every last one of them. Love,Dear Tanya, I’ve been wondering, what exactly is it like when you go through the Chronosphere? Does everything flash white and you’re there, or is it like a weird, psychedelic Tunnel or something along those lines? Also, since you’re obviously not looking for anyone – what with you being a big war heroine and all – is Lt. Eva available? The Outsider

Outsider, the Chronosphere is a real trip! Of course, I have to be in a vehicle when I go through, so I don’t really know what it looks like, but I get a great buzz when I beam. As for Eva’s love life, I couldn’t tell you. Battlefield pillboxes aren’t exactly the best place to discuss last night’s hot date. Love ya,Hello Tanya! It’s not often that so many qualities of an elite fighting force are found in a single person. Your military skill combines the strength of a battle-hardened marine with the stealth and speed of a Navy SEAL. Needless to say, I’m a huge fan of Yuri Prime!! Your choice of weapons has often intrigued me: you use your twin handguns to devastating effect against enemy infantry. What made you choose handguns over an assault rifle, or any other handheld weapon? If you ever decided to change careers, what would you do? What advice would you give to those who have chosen you as their role model, both young and old? It is always refreshing and inspiring to see how people all over the world have proven that the key to victory lies in the hearts of the brave, and that gender is of no consequence whatsoever. Kindest regards, Jason

Awww, you’re a sweetheart! With so many people focused on ‘important’ things like my hair and make-up, it’s nice to hear praise for my military prowess. I’ve got to tell you, the handguns have really served me well in the past. They’re small and light and, unlike an assault rifle, are easily stowed away when I have to start running for cover or suddenly dive into the nearest river. I honestly can’t see myself changing careers any time soon. I’m far too committed to the Allies’ cause and to stopping that psychic slug Yuri to move into the private sector. I strongly encourage everyone, young and old, to join the Allied fight. We’re a noble bunch and have room for anyone who isn’t particularly keen on genetic mutants. Best regards,Dear Ms Tanya, Where on earth did the Allies find you? Gun-toting, big-talking chicks with twin Colt .45s don’t just fall out of the sky, you know. Cheers a million, Ian

And thank goodness for that! You know, back when we were taking out those slimy commies last year, I heard rumours of certain commanders building a whole army of me. Yikes! Anyway, the Allies didn’t find me – I found them. I enlisted after hearing about the Soviets’ devious plan to go back in time and alter history. I couldn’t let that happen, could I? Love ya,Greetings, I wish to express my respect for your incredible bravery and skill in facing the Soviet war machine. I am truly awed by your record of service in this horrific conflict between peoples, ideologies and mindsets. You are one of the unsung heroes of the shadows, one of the field operatives, and I would stake my life on your perseverance to the very end. I am a tactician myself. As you must be aware, the whole world is watching, and sensible people like yourself are already planning how to establish a central coordination body to ensure that nothing like this ever happens again. Suffice it to say that, in future, unofficial and covert methods must be employed to stop those who would bring terror upon the innocent before they can even begin their actions, through precision small-unit strikes, even on an unprecedented international scale. This is what we work on in Special Ops Group Echo. It is true that we were founded in Britain, but we receive support from many nations who are helping to train and equip us – even from Japan! And here lies the key to our order of battle – compartmentalised information. No single nation has access to even a tenth of the information that would be needed to identify us, let alone locate us, unless we provide the means to do so. And so I, who am serving as a key tactician in this new unit, have been tasked with attempting to establish communication with you. Compartmentalised information works both ways, you see. We know as little about you as you know about us, and so we hope to learn more about your knowledge and skills, so that my command will be able to carry the torch forward and deal with the crises of the future. If you do choose to exchange information in confidence, you will have my undying gratitude. But please note, as my command is not officially recognised as existing, we can only ask politely. There will be no pressure, and certainly no subpoenas. I have many questions, but I shall await your decision as to whether you would be willing to answer even one. Please pass on my thanks to your control officer for kindly providing the procedure to open communications via this dead drop. TOP SECRET WAYFARER Lt-Col J. Garberson Shepherd, USMC Commanding Officer, Special Operations Group Echo, §9. Jason

ZZZZZZ.....huh? Oh, sorry about that. I fell asleep somewhere around ‘horrific conflict’. Sorry, mate, I’m a soldier, not a tactician. Regards,Hi Tanya, what do you do after a hard day on the battlefield? How do you like to relax? Any hobbies? Steve

Hey Steve, well, the Allied commanders keep me pretty busy, but the little free time I do get is spent cleaning my guns, reading the latest issue of Soldier of Fortune Magazine and getting pedicures. Love,

Tanya, How on earth can you swim in -90-degree temperatures in the middle of winter!? Are you in the Polar Bear Club or something? I’m surprised you haven’t had hypothermia 200 times by now. Just tell me, how on earth do you do it? Your ever-lovin’ Fan, Post Office

Honestly, I don’t even notice the water temperature. I put it down to the adrenaline rush I get when I’m sent out onto the battlefield. When I’m chasing a Soviet Dreadnought or a Yuri Boomer, all I can think about is how spectacular the massive explosion will be. SHAKE IT BABY!,Tanya, just how many times has the NRA asked you to join? Also, how many gun and explosives magazines do you subscribe to? Bruce

Brucester, The NRA? Bah! No way am I going to spend my days with Charlton Heston when I could actually be doing something about gun rights on the battlefield. As for the magazines, I subscribe to a few, but I rely more on the intelligence I get from our commanding officers about the latest technology. XOXO,Tanya, How would you fare against Yuri in a fight? What weapons or techniques would you use? It seems you’re more resistant to his mental powers than the average human. David

You’re joking, aren’t you? I’d wipe him out in a flash. Personally, I rely on long-range weapons to take him out when he’s not looking, and the Allies as a whole have some great new weapons like the Robot Tanks. Completely immune to Yuri’s feeble attempts at mind-melding, they buzz right into a base and blammo! No more Yuri. CYA,